And back to..

.....school!

Just got back home from Thanksgiving Break~ Coming back was a paaaain in the butt because I left my WALLET with my driver's license, bruincard (lets me into buildings and has all my meal swipes on it), room card, money, annnnd camera. I flew down from SFO too...so I went through some stuff at security aka being questioned for 10 minutes straight and getting background checks done on me hahaha. BUT in the end, they let me on (thank you!). I luckily had $5 for the ride back to school ($3 in pockets from change and $2 in my camera bag, no more no less) sooo it was all good. Except that I waited an hour and half for the flyaway. BUT THEN, SO DID EVERYONE ELSE. So it wasn't as bad!

mmmMMMMMmmmm

AND THUS THE STREAM OF INCOHERENT NONSTOP TYPING BEGINS

SO I went on a book downloading (legally [free] from ibooks!) spree- lots of Emerson and Thoreau, the two authors that I liked the most in that environmental English class I had in high school. I want to reread it all at my own pace now without the stress of college apps at the same time (which was what was going on at that time). Luckily most of the classics are free (yayayayay saves the trouble of going to a REAL library, the libraries on campus don't REALLY have books for reading-reading) sooo I can continue where I left off at since middle school. (did that make sense?) Mannn I read a tonnnn back then. I guess it was because of those summers in China where I was too young to go out or really appreciate anything around me...so I turned to books. AND because this one store in Vacaville (outlets!) always had a 3 for $10 sale on classic books right before we left for China...so we'd always buy a suitcases' worth of books that I was expected to finish by the end of the summer (and I did). Mooost of the reading happened in my maternal Grandparent's home in Guangzhou, in the tiny tiny apartment (in my grandpa's room! Remember the bamboo cover on the pillows+ mattress and the mosquito netting around the bed and the stacks of language and engineering books in that tiny room. Brown tinted glass on the table with old photographs preserved underneath (I started doing that too after that summer). remember remember remember.

I miss reading. Alot. Its been SO long since I've really read for pleasure. A year? I can't really remember the last book I read on my own...(Tuesdays with Morrie, perhaps?) I'll try to read every night before I sleep now. IT HELPS ME SLEEP TOO. Annnnd everyone knows that that's the thing I've been lacking most lately hahaha.

Oh, sleep. I used to NEED at least 9 hours of sleep to function...now I only "need" 6. COLLEGE, WHY DO YOU DO THIS TO ME. I think I'm adapting to it though, I'm waking up after 6 hours regardless of how my energy level is. I think...I should try to get more sleep, haha. ITS SHOWING ON MY SKIN. bah. I haaave been kinda spotty with the acne medicine this month because we never refill our brita anymore (and I'm too lazy to go out and fill it lateee at night hahaha) or I just forget. Its...getting kind of out of hand...My skin hasn't been this bad since last year (and then it was REALLY bad from the stress of college apps + doing posters + everythannng) and its honestly really... embarrassing. MM NOT THE WORD but I've been avoiding people's eye because of it or being a lot more self conscious or just wanting to be alone more until it goes away. sigh sigh sigh WHY oh WHY am I cursed with these genetics? The same thing goes for weight and metabolism. I gained 5 lbs this month. ITS BEEN MY FAULT THOUGH- too many times I agreed to getting late night with someone or getting bruincafe with the kendo team or just eating really late and not going to the gym and not playing ping pong and ahhh the list goes on. ONCE WINTER QUARTER STARTS, I PROMISE I'LL STEP IT UP. (and the month of December when I'm at home!)

I played ping pong with Harding tonight. I sucked. I haven't played....consistently in a month. I can't remember the last time I went to ping pong practice. BAH WHAT HAPPENED? (actually I do know-midterms and projects and me being a lazy ass). I gotta step it up. What happened to my excitement in the beginning? WHERE DID IT GO? I guess its been hard because you can't really practice on your own and everyone else is busy too. PLUS I have this thing where I feel bad whenever I play against Harding, Elliot, or Jisoo...My level is alot lower than theirs and they're basically only doing me a favor when they practice with me so I've been really reluctant to ask lately. (annnnd Jisoo still doesn't have a phone). I'm afraid of being bad company. I DON'T KNOW WHY but I've been really quiet recently...or whatever I do say, I don't mean, or comes out totally wrong/awkward. whywhywhywhywhyyyy

Regardless, there isn't anything I can/should blame but myself. I need to gain more confidence. That's what everyone always told me. sigh sigh sighhhh.

Change myself...change myself...or find who I was before or who I wanted to be? Honestly, its so easy to get lost here, so easy to just go with the flow and turn into everyone else and let the time slip by. I DON'T WANT TO DO THAT. The few days I had at home sleeping and thinking have been really really good to me. As I lay in bed, I'd plan out things I'd do and at the time, everything made sense again. (BUT I'M BACK HERE AND I DON'T REALLY REMEMBER WHAT I HAD PLANNED OUT. so, so fail).

BUT a rough idea of what I was thinking of doing to get to my "goal self"--

-TED talks;; I loveeee these. love love love. They've opened my eyes to new ways of thinking that make sense. I would really love to discuss the ideas they talk about with someone. (remember the 6 hour debates/conversations with Derrick.) I miss being exposed to new ideas like these!

-reading;;LOLOLOL so general. BUT I'm determined to put the ipad to more use and especially to get into the habit of reading again. (I use the ipad a tonnnn already- all my readings are on it, I skype with it, and...play all those addicting games on it LOL). My writing is deteriorating. I WAS REALLY GOOD AT WRITING AS A KID (I was the young author of my school in second grade up until sixth grade). WHAT HAPPENED.

-conceptart.com;; This site. Everyone's skill level is amazingly high and everyone is so MOTIVATED. I love it. Its not really "competitive" or just for sharing/popularity like deviantART was, but about actual artistic development. There are alot of people who are already in the industry too...it can't hurt to learn from them, right? I'm thinking of participating in some of their weekly "challenges". EVEN IF I don't do a full on digital painting (and I mostly likely won't), I'll try to at least do sketches for it. I would really really like to find an artist friend to join me in this! OR a sketching buddy. or an art buddy in general.

-Christianity;; Alright, this is the biggest/most major one. I guess it all got started when Elliot gave me that talk, then got deeper when I met with the people from his church, and has gotten even deeper still now that I've planned to meet with Rachelle for a "gig" (basically meeting with someone who's already Christian and going through a crash course as to what it is and what it means) starting next quarter. Its...something I have zero experience in and something I never expected myself to get into. BUT I'm really willing to try it out.



brarbghagbgbgbgb SO TIRED GOING TO BED WILL CONTINUE TOMORROW. (WHAT DID I EVEN SAY AND WHOOP THERE GOES AN HOUR)

Shoot with Jessica

BAHIHIHIHI.

oh, a speedpaint first.


SO YES, I took photos with Jessica today down in Westwood and around campus!






wassup exclusion filters




I dropped my reflector in this puddle ;___;






























my favorite













DON'T BE DECEIVED, HE DID NOT HELP IN HOLDING THAT REFLECTOR AT ALL



THANK YOU JESSICA!

PMX+Xiaojun Bday+allnighter+openmic+DESMA+JYJ

SUCH A BUSY WEEK.

It passed too quickly (I don't even know which classes I went to besides drawing @_@) and feels like nothing happened but PHOTOS SAY OTHERWISE. ANYWHO-

PMX~

I SAW NOBODY AND EVERYBODY AND DID NOTHING BUT DID A SHOOT. I drove up with Jason (who drives in a way that makes me cry) annnnd then I spent 3 hours trying to get my press pass. SUCH A HASSLE, then I found out that my event was on Sunday and I went on Saturday LOL. So...I just took photos of people instead.



so many cape photossss










CASTLEVANIA. The series Jeanine and I wanted to cosplay. (I WOULD LIKE TO DO IT EVEN MORE)







Drove back to go to the Kendo potluck! ONLY 10 PEOPLE WERE THERE AND ONLY 4 WERE FROM THE TEAM BAHAHAHAA. It was fun though! We ate alllll the meat, Tony's sketch pies, played...some board game...and just got to know each other more hahahaha.

```

XIAOJUN'S BIRTHDAY










ze surprise



~~~~
monday--

I had lunch with Rebecca up in Hedrick! THENNN as we were talking outside of Rendezvous, we ran into Sonny!

TESTING OUT OUR CAMERA'S VIDEEOOO

We talked about...chimps, desma, ART, and other things. THEY'RE AWESOME.

Thennnn when I should have been working on my drawing project, Sonny convinced me that it would be a good idea to go all the way to Broad to talk to the counselor for classes and whatnot...SMARTEST IDEA EVER. It took 5 hours there and back -_--


BUT we explored the film school! such a cool painting *A*


ohmaigah can I hook LEDs up to this and make photossssss



*A*!!!!!


OH, WE ALSO RAN INTO DIANA TOO







Went down to the book sale at Ackerman...and found this. REBECCA?!

WENT BACK UP and had dinner with Maiko! She's a Japanese exchange student (4th year!!) in my anthro class. We both ate til we were stuffed and realized that we both gained weight since coming here hahaha.

THEN I HAD KENDO. UNTIL MIDNIGHT. I HAD MY 15 HOUR DRAWING HOMEWORK TO DO. BUT I LOVE KENDO. TOO MUCH.

I went to bcaf with the rest of the team (as usual) and got a coffee...hahahaha. worst idea in a long, long time. If I have a chocolate chip cookie after dinner, I have trouble sleeping. If I have a coffee in the morning, I'm jittery all day. SO WHEN I HAD COFFEE AT MIDNIGHT, IT MEANT THAT I WASN'T GOING TO SLEEP.


BUT AT LEAST I FINISHED IT. At 4am. Waaaay before I had to wake up. I couldn't sleep so I drew and when the sun came up, I walked to Royce and Broad and then back.


Reminds me of....some condiment jar that we had when I was a really young kid...It was some kind of seasoning...




It was soooo coolllld but I loved it.


Bunche



I sat in the Royce hallway and watched the little birds in the bushes for an hour.


Finished my sketch too~

~~
Tues-

Went to the LUST lecture. Amazing performance on design media and typography. TOO BAD I FELL ASLEEP. I SAT NEXT TO DAVID THE T.A. TOO. orz


DESMA FED US ONCE AGAIN



WORKED ON MY ANTHRO PROJECT LIKE NO OTHER. BUT GOT DISTRACTED BECAUSE ADAM PERFORMED AT OPEN MIC AND WE ALL WENT DOWN TO SUPPORT HIM!








Adam is kinda the coolest person on our floor.

~~~
Wednesday

I HAD KENDO I LOVE KENDO and Julian (Shotaro) came. BUT ALAS, SO DID NATHAN AND MAKINO-SAN. So Grace and the rest of the team couldn't do our "YOOOO" kiai guy impressions (YOOO man graduated last year, but he had a thing for Julian (the old captain) and his kiai was YOOOO). But it was still a really really fun practice 8D


Diane, Chris, and Sonny and I all talked from midnight to 4am, first in front of cafe 1919, then we moved to the 3south lounge in hopes of running into Elliot (who was supposed to meet us there BUT FELL ASLEEP). We talked about DESMA and the projects we were all doing and what we hoped to do. YOU GUYS ARE SO INSPIRING. I love it. We shared a whole bunch of cool videos too hahaha

~~~

Thursday


Had lunch with Diane and Sonny! We talked about ghosts. SO SKURRY.


had LATE NIGHT with SETHRADER. We had a deep, meaningful conversation that was most excellent.

~~~
FRIDAY

JYJ CONCERTOOO. I drove there with Jennifer WHO IS AMAZING.




It was at USC :I



WE DROVE PAST THE LACC AND THE JW MARRIOT. I THOUGHT OF AX 2010 WHICH WAS THE BEST CON EVER. I MISS EVERYONE. I COULDN'T HELP BUT SMILE AS WE DROVE PAST.


I was really hungry when I got back so I got 1919 and then I went to go hang out with Rebecca who is AWESOME. We made plans for things we were going to do when we go home to norcal :D. First Thursdays museum walks, exploring SF, sleeping over, hiking, meeting up with Jarad, ect ect.


then everyone came in and it was like LOL LETS MAKE THIS A DANCE PARTY. So it was.



We all talked about pokemon airplanes, japan, and our love for norcal. Jarad came in and we listened to his AMAZING music and shared portfolios. YOU TWO ARE SO INSPIRING. lovelovelovelove


Went back downstairs and got killed. -_-


Keni and Loi were still awake so I stayed up with them to talk and play games on adultswim. Zombie hooker attack...is really fun LOL.


all the girls came back from a party and I gave them chocopies.

Everyone else ended up going to bed, but Loi and I stayed up til 6am talking. How can somebody know so much in just the two years of experience he has ahead of me? I'll just listen.



AND WE MADE RAMEN. AT 6AM.

oh, college.

~~
SATURDAY

I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT I DID. I woke up really really really late. and then ate the sketchy pizza that was in the lounge. AND PLAYED ROBOT UNICORN ATTACK ALL DAY LONG WITH KENI.


KENI I'M SO PROUD OF YOU.


THEN PLAYED SOME PING PONG. more like watched. SHOWDOWN BETWEEN JISOO AND HARDING. Where oh where is Elliot?


Went back up and played more robot unicorn....and then we decided to play computer chess because we were getting too stressed out from robot unicorn HAHA. KENI CHEATS AT CHESS LIKE NO OTHER. YOU CAN'T DO UNDO IRL KENI, YOU CAN'T.

Man, I love college.